Teenage mad shitter

This story comes to us from mike on tuckermax's message board...

I have no shame. I will shit anywhere, anytime. If I have to go, make way, I'm going to go. Some of the more disgusting bathrooms I've gone in:

-Penn Station: New York City
-Restroom off of I-80 around the Akron area
-Giants Stadium: Rutherford, New Jersey

My most interesting place, the sand dunes at Robert Moses beach, Long Island. I was around 14 or so, just strolling along the beach with some friends and it hit me hard. I really panicked, we were a long way from the changing/bathroom area. There was no possible way I was going to make it. I thought about heading for the water, dropping my bathing suit and just letting it go, and let the salt water clean me. No go, way too many people in the vicinity. I have no shame, but I also have no desire to be pointed out as a mad shitter in public. Oh, I forgot to mention, we were on our way to see the nude beach, since at the time, our 14 year old minds were starting to peak. Had we known that we'd be viewing a bunch of fat old jews, we would have passed.

So I finally get to the point of no return. I needed to find somewhere or risk losing it, and doing the walk of shame back to my family with shit all over my leg. Up ahead a group a stoner hippies had just left their circle a long with some sheets to head to the water. I quickly grabbed a sheet, sprinted up the sand dune and went to town. I finish up, clean up, and being the nice guy I am return the sheet. We quickly took off and I almost fell over I was laughing so hard.

I know how he feels about being in public. I once had a friend who could only defecate at home. He would drive 45 minutes home from work to drop a deuce.